They say it takes a village to raise kids. I never understood that until I had children of my own.
This mom thing is HARD… It’s easier if you have someone by your side that can support you through it. There is only so much a hubby can do. They can’t truly understand how it feels to feel like your always failing, mom guilt, chapped nipples, or hours of being home alone with a newborn screaming their head off.
I am talking about a “mom soulmate”. That rare friend who also has kids and can understand what you are going through.
This is the story about how I found by best friend, my other mommy half, my mom soul mate…
For those who don’t know… Only months before my daughter was born, my husband was relocated out of state for work. Moving hundreds and hundreds of miles away from my support network was difficult for me.
A few months later, we had a newborn and my husband was deep into
his new job, working long hours. Meaning even longer hours for me, home with a new baby.
The city we were living in was, well… Let’s just say it was not a family/kid friendly town. There weren’t many parks, NO kid events or centers, or even mom-and-me events.
As a new mom is was so difficult to meet new friends and moms!!
One day I had hit my limit. I had hit my max, and I was determined to find my “village”. I found a few Facebook groups that were mom forced, and I am not ashamed to say that I basically put out a want ad for a mom friend.
Now, maybe it was the sleep deprivation or the post pregnancy hormones, but I was so desperate to find someone who was going through the same things I was.
A few moms answered saying we could have a play date but… It was just a weird town…
There was one mom I seemed to click with. She had just moved to the city too due to her husband being relocated and had a daughter about the same age as mine.
We decided to meet at a local frozen yogurt shop to have a “play date” with our new babies. I remember sitting there like it was yesterday, waiting for this random mom to show up. Thinking to myself how crazy I had to be.
The moment she walked through the door I knew that she was my “mommy soulmate”. She was lugging that heavy baby carrier, the over flowing diaper bag and THAT look of exhaustion covering her face. It was like looking in a mirror.
Have you ever sat down with someone and talked for an hour but felt like you have known them your whole life? That is what meeting her was like.
From that moment on we were bonded! Maybe it was the fact we were having the same struggles; being far away from our moms, new city, husbands who we loved but drove us nuts, new tiny people to take of and the never ending feeling that we did not know what the hell we were doing.
We were each other’s rocks as the months went on. We texted during our 1:00am feedings. We walked the mall together for hours pushing our strollers with those crying babies while rocking our stained shirts and yoga pants. We did our weekly shopping trip to Target together. We let each other cry, complain, vent, and asked each other countless baby questions.
We both were pushed into this tough situation, and I don’t know if we could have survived that town without each other.
I still remember the day that I picked up the phone to call her, half full of excitement and half of grief, to tell her my hubby was relocated again, this time closer to family. I was mourning the loss of my other (mom) half but so excited to be moving back closer to family.
We moved and a few months later they were relocated too. Now thousands and thousands of miles apart, we still are each other’s other “mom soul mate”!
We talk almost every day, we complain without judgement, we help each other through the many (a times difficult) stages in our kids lives, we offer each other advice, and we are just there for each other. We are each other’s cheerleader, because let’s face it…. This mom thing is hard.