He nestles in my arms, burrowing his body into that prefect spot. His head resting in the nook of my arm, and his little boy body resting on my lap. His sweet little voice asks for my hand. We sit there rocking, just snuggling, holding hands. He is my little snuggler, my little buddy.
I never imaged what joy a boy would bring. When I was pregnant with my daughter it was all things pink and fluffy. I knew what I was in for. I know how to deal with her dramatic personality as she was in fact my daughter. I knew how to braid her hair, to play dollies on the playroom floor, how to paint tiny little toes.
When I had my son, I was lost! I was fearful! I had no idea what I was doing from day one! I remember being in the pediatrician’s office for that three-day checkup, asking “what do I do with this” as I waved my hand over the diaper area. I was lost!
I had no knowledge about sports, bugs, or trucks. I was lost when it came to everything boy…
I was amazed how much I fell in loved with being this little boy’s mom.
My son is a million times more snuggly then my daughter ever was. Even when we are shopping the aisles at Target, he sits on his typical perch of the cart’s seat holding my hand as we shop. Wanting to always be close to me, close to his mom.
The way he looks up at me, smiling. Those eyes that just sparkle with this undying love for me. The way he looks at me, like I am the most important thing in his whole world. I hope that look never fades.
My world of multiple shades of pink, changed to the love of buying shorts so I could see those little tan toddler knees toddling around the green grass.
Cars and trucks now also clutter up my floors. The favorite toy kitchen item is no longer the baby bottle but now the toy knife. (I swear they are just hard wired to love these items). Our dress up box had a few new additions to the mixture of tutus and brightly colored dresses. Super Hero capes have now been added to the mixture.
I think back to that moment, where I sat on that ultrasound table. The tech barely touching my tummy before she exclaimed “WOW, it’s a boy!… And he is not shy about it!” My world changed in that moment. I could have never imagined in that moment of fear and anxiety, how much I would fall in love with being a little boy’s mom.
My love of exploring and watching bugs outside has grown a tad. Only because of the spark of excitement he has in his eyes over the adventure of it. My understanding of which car is the fastest and the different noises they each make is growing. The rest of the stuff we will learn together.
For now, in this moment, I will breath in these boys snuggles. This sweet toddler knees, these little hands in mine as we rock. This is the best part of being this little boy’s mom…. I will always be his first love.