How to Survive Being a Stay at Home Mom

Today I was More than a mom!!

When you become a mother, everyone under the sun will have advice for you on how you should do things. It’s hard because you really don’t know what advice to listen to or what to brush off.  From one mom who has lived and learned… this is what you need to do to prevent feeling burnt out as a mom!

Being a Stay at Home Mom, is hard work and it’s easy to lose yourself in the process. You give so much of your self-caring for the other people in your life. It can be overwhelming and hard.  Here are few things to make your life easier and to help you feel like your old self. 

These are things I have learned along the way, and I still struggle with them. However, when I do follow through with these tips I do feel better. Mom burn out can happen so easily and these tips will help prevent you from losing your mind!!

 

#1 Get Dressed

When I had my daughter, my mom told me that no matter what to get dressed every morning.  Get up shower, do your hair (even if it’s a pony tail again) and put on makeup.  It will make you feel more put together and better about yourself.  Most days I change out of the yoga pants I slept in, just to put on another pair to wear around the house all day, however at least I feel like I am dressed. 

I am not going to lie, some mornings it’s hard to make the effort. You stand in the shower with screaming little ones in the bathroom with you. You may only have time to shave one leg, or only put on mascara. However, any effort you make will pay off and prevent you from getting in that mom funk.

 

#2 Get Out of The House Every Morning

Get up and get out of the house every morning.  Gosh, easier said than done! It’s so easy to just stay home!!! However, this is the BEST thing you can do! It’s so much work to get yourself dressed, feed the kids, pack the diaper bag, get them changed, and out the door.  It’s a ton of work. Trust me, I get it. Over fifty percent of the time, I want to give up half way through and just stay home, but trust me it’s worth it!

Days at home with the kids can be long…. Really long some days. Getting out of the house in the mornings, even if it’s to just go to the store to get a jug of milk, will help break up the day.

We do our shopping in the morning, walk the mall in the winter, discover a new park, do doctor appointments, check out local farmers markets, or just bring lunch to daddy at work. The change of scenery will do wonders for you and the kids. Plus, it will wear them out for nap time!

 

#3 Find Your Tribe

I am not a social butterfly! When I became a mom in a new city, with no local friends, it was hard. You’re going through this new journey and as much as your husband tries to understand, he will never really get it. You need to find your tribe!

Join a local MOPs group (mother of pre-schools or younger), join a local community education kids class, go to the library for story time, join online Facebook communities for moms…

Just find a group of moms, a group that you can talk to about your struggles and just double check that your kid is not the only one going through this phase. 

You CAN’T do it alone, you just can’t! Even an online friend to support you can help!

 

#4 Invest in Your Self

Now, I am the biggest believer in this.  However, I am the worst at following through on this. As Stay at Home Moms, we have the guilt on spending money on ourselves. We feel guilty not bring in money to the home, we always put others’ needs ahead of our own needs, and we just don’t have the time. NO! Mom burn outs happens, you need to invest in yourself!

You are the one up all night with the kids, you are the one still wearing those maternity pants (they are just so comfy), you have given up your body (and alcohol) for nine long months… you deserve and NEED to treat yourself!

It may just be something simple as buying a face mask at Target and a bottle of wine and watching Netflix. You can get your hair cut or colored, or buy a new outfit so you feel confident walking into a new playgroup. Whatever it is that makes you feel good, do it!

Now, there is a million reasons not to do it! The car needs new tires, money is tight this month maybe next month, my husband needs new dress clothes for work, or we need to pay for the kid’s swim lessons. However, even if it’s just $20 a month for a Target tee shirt and a new book, you have to do SOMETHING for yourself!

Most importantly don’t feel guilty about it! Just because you don’t get a pay check doesn’t mean you are not working your butt off every day!

 

#5 Don’t Have A Routine

Now this goes against every parenting book or article you may have read…. And yes, for some kids this may not work. However, if you are held hostage by your kid’s routine you won’t be able to enjoy life.

I know some parents must be home at nap time because their kid wont nap in a stroller or the car. They can’t go out the eat for dinner because their child will need to go the bed right after dinner, and so on.

I am so laid back on my kid’s routine, which is funny because I am such a planner. My kids nap in the car, or in the stroller. Some days we stay home and some days we spend all day at the zoo.  We eat on the move, we skip nap time, we can do about anything and my kids adapt to it.

Some days I don’t do any laundry or house work, and others I send deep cleaning every inch of my house. We kind of fly by the seat of our pants, and it has made motherhood so much easier. 

If I need a break and need to get out of the house for a mental break we can do that, and it’s such a blessing!!

 

#6 Photograph The Good And The Bad

I am a big believer in taking a photo of the bad moments too… because let’s face it, motherhood is not always smiles and giggles. 

I don’t take these photos so my kids feel guilty later, it for me to remember that every day is not easy but I got through it and I can get through this too.

I have photos of my daughter having an epic meltdown in the kitchen over having to pick up a sippy cup off the floor because she dropped it, a selfie of myself at 3am with kid puke running down my shirt, to a photo of me eating dinner on the bathroom floor because my son had croup and had to be in a steamy bathroom. Those are the moments that you will want to remember too!

 

Being a Stay at Home Mom is demanding job, one in which you are never truly about to ‘‘clock out’’ at the end of the day.  It can be hard to adjust to at first.  However, it the most rewarding job EVER!!

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