I sat there, in a puddle of my own self-doubt and frustration. Tears pouring from my eyes as I watched the baby monitor as my kids played in their play room. I just could not keep up this façade that I had it all together anymore. I could not keep up appearances anymore, I was breaking. How was motherhood so hard for me and for others- it was just so easy.
I was sick of saying yes- to taking more on my plate than it could handle. I felt overwhelmed by the amount of house work, the amount of demands these tiny humans had, the to-do list that seems to grow by the minute.
All of the other moms made it look so easy! Work, kids, household responsibilities, caring for their husbands, and they still had time to go out with friends. I felt like I was the only one who was failing. Whose kids were not napping. The only ones whose floor had developed this sticky like texture to it. No matter how late into the night I worked, the house was never clean. How hard I tried, the husband was always disappointed by the dinner menu. Whose kids, whom I loved so much, was just trying so hard to hit her buttons.
How did every other mom make it look so easy? Why was I struggling, and no one else?
I was sick of putting on this front that I had it all together, that I was on top of things. When I felt like I just kept letting everyone down.
We have all seen that mom walk into school, you can see her fighting back tears. Her morning was a disaster and she is questioning her strength as a mom. Why do we just look away, pretending we don’t see it? Why don’t we offer her a kind smile, and simply ask her if she is up to getting a coffee-nothing else. Just a smile and an invite to talk.
We have become competitors in motherhood. Competing for whose family is picture prefect- the nice home, well behaved children, the most put together. We have become our own worst enemies!
Instead, we should be lifting each other up! Supporting each other, opening up to each other. Not judging each other over every single thing! We are snowflakes- what works for one family won’t work for another! So why are we judging other moms for not being just like us. Why are we pretending that we are perfect and have all the answers?
We all know we have had those moments too, moments where we feel like the sky is falling and we just can’t do it anymore. They used to say ‘it takes a village to raise a child’- now I think our village is at war. Motherhood has become social warfare- a social media war of the picture-perfect life.
I’m here to say- that picture prefect social media post is FAKE. That mom who seems all put together and has all the answers at mom group is FAKE. That neighbor who seems to be completely crushing this motherhood thing is a FAKE.
The truth is… we have all had those moments. Where our husband walks through that door, and his eyes get big. Wondering what had happened to make their wife completely melt on the floor into a puddle of tears.
The important thing to remember, in that moment, it’s just that- a moment. That feeling of being overwhelmed will pass. You will get a big bear hug from your kids and you will forget all about that feeling of being a failure.
The fact is, we all fail at times. Motherhood doesn’t come with a manual and we are all making it up as we go.
Just remember, you’re not alone. You’re not the only one feeling like this. And no, trust me, you’re not failing. As long as your kids are surrounded by laughter and kisses- your doing your job as a mom!