I will make you a deal…
It’s a little game in our house, “I will make you a deal” I will say to my husband with a smile on my face. “I will take the bath time if you change the dirty diaper”, “I will wash the floors, if you put them to bed”. Its our way of bargaining with one another, laying our chips on the table.
Here are just a few ways we spilt the major house hold tasks up.
I plan the trips, he takes charge on them
When it comes to a weekend trip to see family, or a vacation for just the two of us, we have a division of labor. I plan the trip (book flights, hotels, figure out dates), and I do all the prep work ahead of time. Which means- the packing, getting cash, food prep, cleaning the house (who wants to come home to a dirty house), and other prep related things.
However, the minute we are officially out of the driveway it’s all him. He is in charge of directions, tipping, making dinner reservations, the daily plan, and everything else (including opening doors).
I stayed up late nursing, he got all the night time diapers.
That first night that we spent home with our first born, we fell into a routine. The routine picked back up with our second, without even disusing it.
I would wake up to nurse the baby at night, and my husband would change the diapers.
It was just our thing. He would go get the crying baby, change the diaper sleepy eyed and all. I would then nurse the baby back to sleep. No matter if he had to get up the next morning for work or not, this was our game plan for the night. To make it even.
Now, to be honest, I think his part was much easier since he was back to sleep in under five minutes. However, it still made it feel like at least we both had to get up.
I did kid diapers and potty training… he takes poop duty outside with the dogs
When we first got our dogs, I made the deal “I will take diapers some day if you pick up the dog poop.” I thought I was so sly at the time. Thinking to myself that I would have only two years or so of diaper duty where he would have a life time of poop patrol.
He kept up his end of the deal… and so did I. I mean I was home with the kids anyway so what was I going to have to do any way. However, man there was times I thought he had a good gig with that fresh air out there and that long shovel, where I was right up in it.
To this day I do diapers, he helps at times, and he does yard duty.
I take everything healthcare, he takes the cars
Let’s face it, is there anything men hate more then going to the doctor? It was a no brainer that I would be taking charge of healthcare. I have to make all the appointments, keep track of visits, and at time drag my husband to his visits with bribes.
In return my husband makes sure my car is take care of. Making sure I am never low on blinker fluid. (Yes, my brothers once sent me to the store asking for blinker fluid). I am blessed that he is there to take care of these things since I have no knowledge at all! He is always willing, most of the time, to make sure I have gas in my car too. Saving me from freezing out at the pump. This all started because I told him once that pregnant people can’t breathe in gas fumes. Well, he fell for it and has done it ever since.
I will deal with bill paying and budgets, he takes taxes and investments
My husband, gosh I sure love him, but he is a massive procrastinator. It would have never worked for him to be in charge of our money. We would never have one bill paid on time ever.
I work hard, especially as a stay-at-home mom, to keep our house on a tight budget. I would hard on trying to find savings where ever I can.
However, there is one area- that makes my skin crawl and my pulse race!! That dang time of year when you receive your W-2 and the tax man is calling. My husband thankfully has the patience and the blood pressure to be able to deal with all of that business. He also is a planner for the future when it comes to our kids and for me. He has all of the life insurance, college funds, wills, 401k, and retirement planning padded with tons of extra support for us. I am thankful for his for thinking on that!
Now, this is not the cure all. I still think he should help more around the house, he promptly disagree. Things are never going to be even. However, when it comes to the big stuff this helps us make it feel like not everything is on one of us.