When you lose a loved one, you look for signs from them everywhere. Every singing bird, every ray of sunshine, every penny you find on the ground. You wonder, is it them? You want a sign that they are still looking over you. That a little part of them is still here with you.
We recently lost my grandmother after an extremely brave fight of cancer. I just woke up that morning at peace. Even before I received the phone call, I just knew. I had this overwhelming sense of peace and I just knew she was ok. I never searched for that sign, that feeling. However, that little sneak gave me one anyway.
You see in the last few months she had laughed about this one memory. she had spoken about it multiple times.
You see, when I was younger she always made sure our wildest dream come true. She would never say no to us grandkids. So, one day when we were out shopping with her and my brother said he wanted a car from the toy store of course she responded “ok let’s go!”. Well now, in her mind she thought he wanted a little car, a matchbox maybe. A car small enough to fit into a young boy’s pocket and race around the hard wood floors. Nope! My brother wanted one of those big cars, you know the kind that requires a car battery and probably should require a license to drive.
Well of course my grandmother said “load it up “to the sales clerk. Looking back on it, I am sure that my grandfather had some colorful words when we arrived home and he saw a small ATV in the back of the car. However, it was a special memory that she had created with her grandson.
We talked about this story multiple times over the course of those last few months. We laughed about it.
About a month after she had passed, I ran into Homegood’s. I was trying to sneak in by myself, however my husband instated we ALL go in. (His way of keeping our budget in check I am sure). I was b-lining it to the area of the store I needed when he shouted from behind me, “LOOK!”
There sat a fire truck. Yes, the large AVT kind. He was quick to respond that we should get it for my son’s birthday. I rolled my eyes. We did not have the budget to drop a few hundred dollars on this toy. Even if the fire hose shot out bubbles. and there was colorful lights.
Turns out it was on clearance for only $20! So, my husband grabbed it and ran to pay for it. The cashier looked at him blankly and said “I have no idea why this is so cheap!”
Now, it was not until I retold this story later that I realized. This was my grandma at work.
It was her little sign that she was ok, looking out for us, and still spoiling her great grandkids like crazy.
I then realized that she had told me how much she had enjoyed that day, seeing my brother’s eyes light up as he rode that toy around the front yard. Tears came to my eyes as I watched my son’s eyes light up with that same delight. She had sent us just want we need, in the moment when we needed it the most. She sent us a sign from heaven, in the toy aisle, in true grandma fashion!